Still, it's been a while, and now I find myself wondering how to pick it back up. There have been plenty of things I wanted to write about. But all of those things were things that I didn't want to post online. Generally, I'm not the kind of person who posts sad things, or angry things, or things that are too real. I post things that will make me - and in theory, others - smile or laugh.
So, time to restart. A new beginning.* Which, I think, I will make the subject of this post.
Picture an old-fashioned wooden caravan. It's painted your favorite colors. Fill it with the things you love. Let them peek through barred windows and press against the door. Maybe go crazy and add some gold trim. Hey, we all have to live a little on the wild side sometimes.
Now push it over a hill. It starts slow, just tipped off balance, over the edge. As it descends, it picks up speed until it's flying, flying down with no sign of stopping.
You want to bring it back to the top, but before you can drag it back up the hill, you have to stop it. Stop it and turn it around. You won't have immediate success. The cart will resist you; by now it's gathered a ton of momentum. It may hurt a little. But you have to start somewhere and work at it. That's what a new beginning does for you. Stops the current trajectory. Gives you a chance to change things, to work towards something better.
For one thing, it's an entire day in which I get to celebrate me. That sounds self-centered, but let me frame it another way. We spend a lot of time celebrating things outside of ourselves: religious holidays, friends' successes, the enactment of a progressive new law. How many times a year do we really just stop and celebrate... ourselves?
Celebrating yourself is so, so important. It's easy to get bogged down in the negatives. Hell, that's what I've done more frequently than I would like. (I'm looking at you, fourteen-month blog silence.) And sometimes, that's okay. It's okay to feel a bit shit. We all have our own pain and are entitled to feel it, an idea that merits an entirely separate post, maybe even two.
Recognizing the positives can help drag you out of the trenches. Birthdays are a nice, annual reminder to do so. Happy birthday. We're so glad you exist. You are actually pretty great.
The other reason I love birthdays is the opportunity they present to set new goals for myself. New year. New goals. New beginning. There's something very therapeutic in setting goals. Goals give you purpose. They are, if you think about it, little pockets of hope. Spots of light that color your future. If you have a goal, you have something that you want to achieve. Something that will make you happier. A better future to look forward to.
That's why beginnings are so important. Though they can be overwhelming, they're also inspiring.
So, here's to feeling inspired. To pushing the caravan through the weeds, through the mud, up the hill, even if it gets a little messy at times. Come at me, 24. I've got big plans for you.
*Is "new beginning" a redundant phrase?
